Why unlearning is key for you?
The WHY, WHAT and HOW or UNLEARNING
We have trained ourselves to learn new things. Luckily cause otherwise we wouldn’t be able to walk, speek, short do what we do today. Though… But...
Some years ago one of my teachers told me: ‘Els you need to unlearn.’. I didn’t understand her. Unlearning, what is she talking about. This is Chinese for me.
No many years later I practice UNLEARNING.
Cause the priority in your personal and business development is not always learning a new skill of adding new information in your backpack. Your most important growing potential for the coming year is to UNLEARN what you have LEARNED in the past, to UNLEARN something that isn’t helpful of blocking you.
UNLEARN SOMETHING YOU LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT IS NOT HELPING YOU
A very concrete example and goal for myself for the coming year
(oh my god by putting it here I will need to really UNLEARN and do it differently)
I have learned myself (thanks to my amazing skilled self-saboteur) that I deserve to stay in bed cause ‘I work a lot’; ‘I will be able to get the job done’
Cognitive I know that when I start my day at 5.30 or 6 AM I work more effective, productive and feel better. My self-saboteurs though win the battle quit often with my clear plans.
So if I want to get through this, I will need to UNLEARN myself the habit of meditating in my bed and falling half asleep again, telling myself saboteur stories, putting the alarm later, sabotaging new methods like putting my alarm in my office, and so on and so on.
I know, again cognitively, that when I do this, I will be more successful as a mum, woman, partner and entrepreneur.
Why is it so difficult to UNLEARN?
When something contradicts with what you already know and believe you probably will dismiss the unlearning and not take it into account. When you find the current fact you believe in important you are more likely to have harder time to unlearn.
For example (please when ready check for an example for yourself)
Some of my sport trainers use the belief: NO PAIN NO GAIN. I always get shiffers. Brrbbrrr, I hate this. Why would we go and search for pain, oh my godddddd! I also know through all my coaching education that it is not smart to talk in NO form to your unconscious mind, so I refuse to take this belief in. (if you are curious why that is > sent me a private message)
When you have doubts of a new belief, you are more likely to find million reasons why keeping your current way of thinking. You will tell yourself stories to keep your current belief set.
For example when you would try to convince me that doing financial management is bad for your company, I would be showing a lot of resistant cause I believe that this is essential for the long term health of your company.
When you judge certain ways of being, you are maybe not even willing to unlearn.
I had to UNLEARN ‘I am not commercial’. (When writing about it my heart starts pumping). I really judged entrepreneurs in the past that were commercial, even when their products were amazing. I believed that you will get rewarded when you are competent and good and people will come to you. That was an old believe I had to UNLEARN partially. Cause of course you can keep the believe that people will come because you are good. But what I had to UNLEARN is that it is not a BLACK and WHITE STORY, it is not OR OR but AND AND. When you go from being a freelancer or independent to an entrepreneur you need to be able to MARKET yourself. So by unlearning this believe, I have development myself in my commercial skills.
I you want me to tell you an embarrassing story about this in a next blog, please comment below.
When I have mindfucked myself like crazy.
For example, I told myself many times that I am not good in writing and for sure not in writing blogs. That I don’t like it, that I’m better with vlogs and podcast (btw how am I doing?). I just told myself this morning, stop the mindfuck and go into the experience and I must say I like it. It still takes me a lot more time than a vlog, but I have unlearned myself through this experience that I don’t like it.
It can be unpleasant. For most people it doesn’t feel like YIHHAAA GREAT when they have to unlearn something that seems to be false, something they believed in for a long time. But really sometimes we really need to ask ourselves the question: WHY BOTHER? WHY WORRY? I love this video below (under blog), it always makes me smile and puts into perspective what I’m doing, thinking or feeling.
What do we do instead?
We procrastinate (uitstelgedrag). We give ourselves amazing good excuses and arguments (are they really that good?) do to other things than we really want to do. However, as anyone who procrastinates often knows, the state of procrastination isn’t particularly good, in an absolute sense. It feels awful, it’s just that any immediate action you anticipate makes you feel a little worse than that, so you stay stuck.
Does it make us feel good to procrastinate? NO. Is it easy to get out? YES and NO. Is it possible? YES.
Why we procrastinate. I will talk about it in the next blog. And would you want to get the blog as the first: sent a mail to email@example.com
What are the benefits if we would do UNLEARNING?
- We would go faster in our growth process. And,
- We can book results on our low hanging fruits as well as on the long term. And,
- You have the power within yourself, you may need a coach to get you on what to unlearn, but the power to change is within you. And,
- Why worry? And,
- We dare to show ourselves faster in our truth instead of keeping ourselves small.
Can we UNLEARN our FEARS?
Yes we can.
because our fears are a result of our surviving strategies that want to protect us and keep us away from (possible) pain and failure. That means we have also programmed ourselves to be fearful and we can unlearn ourselves. Isn’t this amazing news? Does it make you enthusiastic to start unlearning?
Fear is usefull when you need to jump away from a bus that drives to close but mostly our fears we have in the here and now are not really correlated anymore with what we are experiencing today.
For example, a lot of women are fearful about money and judge other women talking about it cause there is a lot of taboe.
The better you are in UNLEARNING, the bigger LEAPS you can take
How do you UNLEARN your fears?
Check out our brand new training FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY.
We will help you unlearn. Change your old patterns. Give you new oxygen. New base to go into action. To stop procrastinating.
We will give you already 3 points on how we will help you
- By giving another point of view. New ways of thinking and beliefs.
- A tribe of bizwomen that has done it differently and is successful so that your brain can see that the current beliefs are not that usefull anymore.
- Dare to feel your fears and do it anyway. By experimenting, by doing you may discover different ways that get you faster or better to the desired results.
- Being comfortable with the unknown and uncertainty.
The third point depends on your self-confidence. Without confidence, people have an instinctive aversion to explore. But don’t worry that is exactly what I am good in and love to help you with.
This training is for ambitious bizwomen that are ready for the next level growth. And very important to RUN their BUSINESS on THEIR TERMS.
When you speak another language then dutch, we can look together for a translator solution (for example a biz friend can come for free when she speaks dutch and your language) and also put yourself on the waiting list for the first English event in autumn 2020 by sending a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
When you are a man and you would love to come to a training like this, please sent us a mail on email@example.com
I believe that the more we dare, the more we do and repeat, the more we feel comfortable with the unknown, the more we skill ourselves to unlearn old comfortable beliefs
The more we can shift from being shy, making ourselves smaller to really speaking up and telling your truth and enjoyyyyy life. The trill of finding new, more accurate, more proven ways of looking at your challenges could become your next best friend.